Ciblek Mania

Clearly this is not the usual post, but I'm standing on the edge of the precipice staring off into the black hole known as ABC Television wondering what just happened to me.  I've been robbed of 120 minutes of my life.  I don't have pictures in this post.  Are you still with me? Anyone? Anyone??

Confession:  I made the grave error of watching The Bachelorette last night and kind of feel like my brains fell out.  My head literally feels lighter as a result of having lost two precious hours of my life to completely useless garbage.  Of course I have no one to blame but myself and readily admit it, however who on earth are these producers appealing to?  Are women really buying into this nonsense that the entire thing, or at least a large part of it, isn't staged?  Don't be afraid to admit it if you're on The Bachelorette wagon.  I'm on a fact finding mission.  Waging war on The Bachelorette.  An army of one.


A few short hours ago I witnessed Ashley Bachelorette --here out to be referred to as poor representation of women-- proclaim "love" for some guy she's known at this stage in the show for, what, 5 days?  However half a day later having been mockingly dumped by him and left in a pool of tears, the one she thought was The One, then go on to describe his kissing technique as lackluster in comparison to some other random guy she now thinks might be Mr. Right.  *shakes head profusely*

To watch a grown woman cry and lament endlessly over a complete stranger all while going on and on and on about her "fears and insecurities" to a bunch of other strange men who claim to be there to form a relationship with her, but let's face it are 90% in it for television face time, was nothing shy of painful.  Holy run on sentence Batman.

And so I ask you dear readers:  do you watch this trash?  Are you believing it?  Before I came to California I had a real pie in the sky, naive outlook on these shows.  "They're in it for love," I told myself.  Cut to scene and here I am 8 years later examining this scenario through a completely different set of eyes.  Last night Ashley Bachelorette surprised one of her dates with an impromptu hip hop dance lesson aka "her true passion" (DING DING DING the reason why she's REALLY doing the show to get her face out there and a foot in the door somewhere in the business---stay tuned for her attempt to get on Dancing with the Stars) and later a flash mob dance session in the middle of the Americana outdoor mall.  ~Aside:  Am I the only one who had no idea what a flash mob dance thing was? Old lady at 12 o'clock. ~   Surprise, surprise she'd really like to be a dancer.  Now I have no problem with her wanting that, but then for the love can you just say it instead of faking it like you're in it for true love?  A true love seeking woman doesn't kiss 30 guys in a 2 month period, hope The One will be in the crew, propose at the end, and then expect him not to be pissed mad when he sees her kissing the vast majority of the others and bawling her head off when some opt out as she laments having lost The One several times only to choose alternate The One(s).  These people aren't looking for The One.  They're looking to promote themselves.  And the odd one who does sneak in the mix is promptly snipped and left on the cutting room floor.  Or standing alone rejected at the end in a flood of tears wondering why they didn't see it coming.  They were sure they were The One. "Why didn't I see the warning signs?"  Don't worry you'll see them blast it out with The Bachelorette on the Reunion Special aka home of no humility when she shows up with the last one standing rubbing salt in the wound of the "other" almost One.


Why is this show still on television?  Better yet:  what on earth was I thinking when I allowed myself to watch TWO whole hours of it?? Never again.

ps- We will resume regular programming/posting later today.  This was just too much and I neeeeeeeed to dialogue.  Please discuss with me.  The cheese does not want to stand alone pondering this subject.

For some reason I'm having a tough time saying 'dead in my tracks' lately.  It's the d word I just can't stomach.  So instead I'm switching it up to what's above.  Same thing, no d and I'm rambling again.  Blame it on Jillian Michaels and her 30 Day Shred.  I've successfully completed Day 2 having acquired a slight hobble due to burning thighs.  No pain no gain suckers.  That's what I tell them when they threaten collapse on the living room floor.

Onto a brighter topic.  Earlier this week Shopbop sent me yet another dirty email, this time taunting me with Opening Ceremony.  Confession:  I don't usually get overly amped up over Opening Ceremony so I opened it with ease chuckling under my breath, "Ha ha Shopbop you can't get me this time" when of course I was greeted by these: